we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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