I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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