i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize