So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
