WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
