She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
