so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Someone shit on the floor
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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