I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
