We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The adults are the big ones right?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize