Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
