You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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