Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
