is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
do nipples grow back?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
