...so i touched it.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
