Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
