I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
