lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
