I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
