when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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