we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
