and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
