Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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