Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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