it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
