where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
