Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
tequila makes me forget i have legs
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
