I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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