do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
