Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
