I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
