Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
