why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize