My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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