Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
