i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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