I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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