and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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