So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
