Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
