why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
