I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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