i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
