So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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