No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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