I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
