He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't deserve a penis
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
