i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
