But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
