At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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