Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way

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(773): View more from Illinois

In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on

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(302): View more from Delaware

Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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(409): View more from Texas

First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.

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(917): View more from New York City

Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?

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(316): View more from Kansas

Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.

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(623): View more from Arizona

"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"

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