the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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