I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
