i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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