But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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