I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
