No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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