And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i think i have herpe
just one?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Randomize
