so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
