UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
