is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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