I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
