He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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