Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
