guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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