I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
