i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
