At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
