I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
