As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I touched a dick in church today
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
