My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
