ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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