Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
