Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize