were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
