I just saw a hot homeless man
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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