i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Shame - the story of my life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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