What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
