They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
