Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
