Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
