So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
