he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize