You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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