Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
